Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Very Blended Family: Step Parenting is lonely

Being a step parent is really hard.
Yet again Miss 14's mum and step dad were invited to the school awards ceremony and once again despite ringing the school twice this year to have us recognised as parents, we were not formally invited. This time,? Mr Blended decided to take it further, and spoke directly with the principal. The department of education has released a huge document of how to deal with separated parents but it appears this hasn't actually been practically applied in schools.

Blended families are the fastest growing family type in Australia - sad but true. But no one seems to know how to practically deal with the situation. Why should it be a child responsibility to have to make a copy of an invite formally addressed to only one set of parents. And how crap is it that the father gets a copy of of invite with his ex wife's name and her new husband. This is despite the father having 44% care and assessed by child support as 100% of expenses as the mother chooses not to work.

I wrote last week about how difficult it was to receive a letter addressed to my husband and ex wife due to a systems error which somehow changed the details to old contacts. The same thing happened with my council rates and they were send to my exs address informing him that I now owned the house with my husband even though they had been sending notices for 2 years to the new address. How do these things happen with apparent tight controls over privacy and information - clearly this is not the case.

Last week on my blog, I received some beautiful comments from readers, I feel like I am building a community. I love my step kids as much as I love my daughter and I wish there were more supportive places for parents who love their family to safely vent and discuss issues and feelings. I often research my posts and? overwhelmingly come up with negative sites about blended families. There is even a forum for step parents who hate their step kids, it may feel ill and so sad for all those children who didn't choose this life but have to live it.

Blended families have a whole range of different issues to deal with but there are no classes or help and most books are written from an American perspective, or a religious background. I find it hard to vent to people who are not in this situation because they think that it is a crap situation too so then I start to think negatively about it! I do wish there was a positive forum where step parents could go and chat safely and get constructive advice rather than just a place to say how much you hate your situation. I love my blended family, sometimes the issues though are isolating.

Source: http://www.averyblendedfamily.com/2012/12/step-parenting-is-lonely.html

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