Deb and Doug Carlson have 2 adopted sons who have trashed bedrooms, stolen credit cards and threatened to kill them. One drew a disturbing picture of beheading the southwest Florida couple and throwing a party.? The 2 teenage boys were adopted in 2007, and the Carlsons were handed a slim file with few details except that the two suffered from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. No one told the empty nesters the boys had severe mental health issues and had bounced between foster homes. Now teenagers, the boys are living in separate therapeutic group homes.
And therapists are saying that one boy needs to be in a supervised residential facility, which the state will no longer pay for, unless the Carlsons turn back custody to the state.?
?We love him and he?s part of our family. To have to make such a difficult decision to get him the care he needs is ludicrous. It sends a horrible message to him,? said 55-year-old Deb Carlson. ?You really feel like once you sign on the dotted line you?re on your own. You?re totally abandoned by the state.?? Fox News
Now the vast majority adoptions end happily, but with many families, like the Carlsons say they weren?t told about their new child?s psychological problems and can?t get help from the government agencies that recruited them.? Their complaints come as there?s a push nationwide ?to find homes for older foster care children and those with serious behavioral and mental health problems, which can emotionally and financially drain adoptive families.
You should be able to sue when this information is withheld from your family, as not knowing all of the history does endanger everyone else in the family.? Most states have funds for recruiting these new families, but once adopted, the money dries up, and there?s no support for them.? Stats show there?s about 50,000 kids adopted in the US each year.
?We place them in an adoptive home and we don?t support or train the parents ? we sometimes set families up to fail and then those children are placed back in the system,? said Rita Soronen, president of The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. The Ohio nonprofit estimates more than 20 percent of the nearly 6,300 foster children it has served came from a failed adoption.? Fox News
But no one keeps track of how many adoptions fail or track how many children need additional help, and states aren?t required to track or report the figures. Florida is among the few states tracking so-called disrupted and dissolved adoptions, which happens when adoptive families return children to foster care while in the process or after finalizing the adoption.? Between 2008 and 2009, Florida had nearly 200 dissolved or disrupted adoptions.
In Oklahoma, one child advocate said half the 14 boys in the group home where she worked had been adopted and returned to the system. Legislators there pushed for a law in 2009 fearing there was little transparency in the process.
A lot of t he failed adoptions involve older children with trauma issues, including reactive attachments disorder, or RADS, where children struggle to bond and act out against their adoptive families. Some have been victims of sexual abuse and, in turn, act out sexually on other siblings in the home. States typically cover a portion of care, but that coverage can run out quickly.? And the cost can be financially draining for the new parents.
Many states have relinquishment policies that force parents to choose between keeping their children and getting them help. Those who do relinquish their children may face criminal abandonment charges and may not be eligible to adopt again, said Mary Boo, assistant director of the North American Council on Adoptable Children in Minnesota.
?States could fund the treatment and not bring the kids back into foster care but they don?t. It?s a way to keep the states from having to pay the bill,? Boo said.? Fox News
And the demand for help is increasing while funds are dwindeling because of budget crunches.? Casey Family Services, covering New England and Maryland, has expanded over the past three years after hearing from more families in crisis.? But the Carlson?s problem began when they tried to get? counseling and other post adoption services for their boys: The organization?s waiting list was so long they eventually told the Carlsons they couldn?t help anymore.? As it stands now, the boys can?t be left alone or play in the neighborhood like normal teens. Each week brings new crisis. Deb Carlson quit her job as a payroll manager to deal with the chaos. She spends hours on the phone navigating the system. A nonprofit advocate recently agreed to take one son?s case in hopes of getting the state to pay for more residential care.
Then in May several children?s welfare organizations lobbied Congress for more post-adoption services to help families like the Carlsons. Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., introduced a bipartisan bill that would have required states to spend a portion of the federal dollars they already receive on adoption services and accurately report failed adoptions, but the bill stalled in committee.?
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